Friday, November 13, 2009

Imprinting

ST, my dh of 10 years seldom gives me any presents. He is not stingy, just refused to give gift out of principle. But that is another story. Today I want to tell you about what my 4 almost 5 years old dd, Den gave me.

But before I can tell what she gave me, I have to tell you, what my dh gave me last year. After years of bugging, he finally decided he to make an effort and bought me a heart shape porcelain box as my birthday present last year. Not only that, he printed out 10 massage coupons and put them inside the box. The idea was I can take out the coupons and claim massages from him. So sweet of him.

Den saw it and loved the idea (may be because she saw how very happy I was). She also loves the box. Every morning, after she wakes up, she will tiptoes into my closet and looks at the porcelain box. Off cause she also make me promised to give her the box after I die. :)

For my birthday this year, she decided to imitate her dad dad. She spent 2 nights in her room cutting and drawing and finally produced a few coupons for me! There are so cute!

She has things like - dancing together at night, foot massage, playing piano for me, etc etc. She don't spell well yet, so she draw instead. Then she put them into a plastic bag, sealed with lots of colorful cellophane tape and stickers. She put the plastic bag into a nice box and gave it to me today. She told me I can take out the coupons and claim the presents whenever I want.
For this coupon: She will pick flowers for me.
For this coupon: She will pick berries for me!!! She got the idea from Milly Molley Mandy (Under Read Aloud).
She doesn't care if it make any sense!
For this coupon: She will massage me.
Btw, every of this coupon, I can use 20 times.

For this coupon: She will dance with me at night (Sunset on the right).
This is the etc coupon: she will walk with me in rain, walk on my back, etc etc.


She imitate her dad dad and did exactly what he did.

Once again, this reminded me --our actions everyday are making a profound imprint in our children's lives. They imitate the way we talk, the way we act, the way we respond. Even though, imitation is the highest form of flattery, it scare me to death too.

Me! The imperfect Me! She is imitating the bad temper, impatient, imperfect Me! Everyday! Every minutes!

I got panic when I pondered upon one of the reflection questions in the book that I'm reading (The mentoring Mom by Jackie Kendall). It asked, "In what ways do you want your child to grow up to be like you?"

Right away, all the answers that sprang up were negative : I don't want her to be as bad temper as me, I wish she is more gentle, more loving, more patient than me, more tidy, more hardworking.....the list goes on. IT DOESN'T SEEMS LIKE I WANT HER TO GROW UP TO BE LIKE ME AT ALL! Period.

It took me sometime before I can stop all those negative thoughts and focus on the good quality in me. You see, I can wish she is a lot better than me but most probably she is going to turn out a lot like me. So I force my self to think of some of the good things I wish her to imitate:


  • Dare to be different

  • Be a critical thinker; don't follow blindly

  • Love, obey and seek God

  • Willing to be changed by God

  • Optimistic by putting my trust/hope/faith in God

  • Love reading.
I don't usually filled with self doubt. I know my value in God's eyes. But somehow, when I think about Den is going to grow up like me, it really freak me out! Praying hard for God to cover all my shortcomings. :)

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